Time

 816 days

70,502,400 seconds

1,175,040 minutes

19,584 hours

116 weeks

2 years, 2 months, 25 days 

.

.

.

We held on for that long before you let go.

How?

How do I smile- when i have smiled with you

How do i cry- when i have cried with you

How do i breath- when i have breathed with you

How do i live- when i have lived with you?

....

Happy?

You be happy

and boy,

I be happy too.

It was nice

How nice it was to linger in your smile

the kindness of your eyes

the comedy of your words

How nice it was to touch you in your arm

and take away a palm full of memories of the past

How nice it was to see you at the wheel

maneuvering the path like old times

How nice it was to pretend that you were all but a sleep

wrapped in a time gone by.

How nice it was, is just too hard to say

but my heart is full and my tears have blown away.

It was nice. Very very nice.

Let it go for 2010

by T. D. Jakes

 There are people who can walk away from you. And hear me when I tell you this! When people can walk away from you: let them walk. I don't want you to try to talk another person into staying with you, loving you, calling you, caring about you, coming to see you, staying attached to you. I mean hang up the phone. When people can walk away from you let them walk. Your destiny is never tied to anybody that left.

The bible said that, they came out from us that it might be made manifest that they were not for us. For had they been of us, no doubt they would have continued with us. [1 John 2:19] People leave you because they are not joined to you. And if they are not joined to you, you can't make them stay. Let them go. And it doesn't mean that they are a bad person it just means that their part in the story is over. And you've got to know when people's part in your story is over so that you don't keep trying to raise the dead. You've got to know when it's dead. You ve got to know when it's over. Let me tell you something.

I've got the gift of good-bye. It's the tenth spiritual gift, I believe in good-bye. It's not that I'm hateful, it's that I'm faithful, and I know whatever God means for me to have He'll give it to me. And if it takes too much sweat I don't need it. Stop begging people to stay= . Let them go!!

If you are holding on to something that doesn't belong to you and was never intended for your life, then you need to ..LET IT GO!!!

If you are holding on to past hurts and pains ...LET IT GO!!!

If someone can't treat you right, love you back, and see your worth...LET I= T GO!!!

If someone has angered you ... LET IT GO!!!

If you are holding on to some thoughts of evil and revenge . LET IT GO!!!

If you are involved in a wrong relationship or addiction ... LET IT GO!!!

If you are holding on to a job that no longer meets your needs or talents .= . LET IT GO!!!

If you have a bad attitude...LET IT GO!!! If you keep judging others to make yourself feel better... LET IT GO!!!

If you're stuck in the past and God is trying to take you to a new level in Him..LET IT GO!!!

If you are struggling with the healing of a broken relationship.... LET IT GO!

If you keep trying to help someone who won't even try to help themselves.. LET IT GO!!!

If you're feeling depressed and stressed ..... LET IT GO!!!

If there is a particular situation that you are so used to handling yoursel= f and God is saying "take your hands off of it," then you need to...

LET IT GO!!! Let the past be the past. Forget the former things. GOD is doing a new thing for 2011!!!

LET IT GO!!! Get Right or Get Left . think about it, and then LET IT GO!!!

Knowing all this, why can i not 'Let Go?'

Missing and wondering

I miss you when,

1. It's raining like mad and i'm too scared to go to the loo
2. when my tummy is grumbling and noone is there to ask me if i'm hungry
3. when i'm stranded after a assignment and have no money to tuk it
4. when the newspaper does not carry your photographs
5. when your not sitting there making faces
6. when noones around to make me laugh with gay acts
7. when noone is there to ask me how i'm gonna go home
8. when i don't get to massage your head
9. when i don't get to sit next to you in the car
10. when i pass Macdonalds
11. when i eat maggi noodles
12. when i have lunch at office
13. when my thumb unknowingly looks for that ring
14. when i want to go shopping and i have noone to take me 
15. when i see everyone else so happy
16. when people talk about weddings
17. when i see photos of couples
18. when i have noone to talk to/ annoy or bug
19. when there is noone to tell me that they love me
20. noone to talk about what happens at home
21. when i catch the small of sprats and remember your ammi's cooking
22. when i have nothing to do on a weeken
23. when i wake up in the middle of the night sweating
24. when i see the lingerie i brought to wear for you
25. when i have nothing to do
26. when i have lots to do
27. when i have work to finish
28. when i have a headache
29. when i see the duplicate of gift packs i sent to your ammi
30. when i remember you saying it's over
31. when i see you dipping down for a kiss
32. when i remember you cuddling me and saying "i love you ch.... ; so much'
33. when your not here, with me.

I wonder about you when-

1. i'm writing
2. when i'm sleeping
3. when i have nothing else to do
4. when i hear you say you love me
5. when i can see you hovering over me
6. when the words of the books blur out
7. when i can't fall asleep and i'm wondering what your doing
8. when your on g-chat and i don't know where you are 
9. when your on facebook and i'm wondering what your doing
10. when you comment on someone elses and not on mine
11. when i skim through fb photos and your comments say you want me, forever
12. when i think of all the places we used to go to
13. when i don't see your matching mug on the table
14. when i'm trying to smile and act cheerful
15. when other people ask me where you are

I miss you, i think about you, i wonder where you are- ALL THE TIME.

I wonder, i just wonder; if your thinking about me too.......

Forget.

Funny
how you forget,
the little bumps,
the late night cries
the screaming
the cutting
the begging
the pleading
the hurt
the anger
the sadness
the tears.

Funny
how you forget,
your thoughts
of loneliness
thoughts of abscond
thoughts of abandon.

Funny
how you forget
that where you are now
is where you wanted to be.

Funny
how you forget,
that he was part of a dream.

Love

What is love if not for the power of setting free your heart and letting him soar.
What is love if not for the belief of letting someone else take control
What is love if not for the faith of trusting another with your soul
What is love if not for the blindness that you feel, alone. 

Merci

Thank you for doing what i couldn't have done.

you came to my rescue, again.:)

Thank you.

maybe it'll take days or months or years to heal the void that is now resident in my heart.
but for all the good times u gave me- thank you for making me happy.
for all the sadness, pain and hurt- thank you for teaching me.
for all those most memorable times- thank you for making my life beautiful.
for the times you sheltered my pain- thank you for being my strength
for all your encouragement and words of praise- thank you for holding me on high pedestal.
for the time you lent me your ears- thank you for listening
for the times you wiped away my tears- thank you for mothering me
for the times ur arms were my place of happiness- thank you for giving me solace

you have built me and broken me. you have mothered me and hurt me, you have made me feel like the most beautiful thing in the world and you have made me feel like crap. But thank you for everything. You have meant so much, so very much.

win

you didn't just break my heart.

you broke my hopes
my dreams
my happiness
my life

me.
you broke me.

congratulations.
you won.

u

what wouldn't i give to bring back "us"

Restricted

I'm scared to smile,
to laugh,
to feel the joy i feel right now.

For
every smile is followed by a tear
every joy by a sadness
like
every brightness has its darkness
like the storm after rain.

Funny,
how we can not celebrate
our happiness,
smiles,
or joys-

afraid of the bad that follows, usually.