Life, you sucker

It's not a good feeling ...

A hug is all you need :)

Mind to paper

Sometimes,
even when i'm surrounded by people
all i do, is think about you.
No, its not voluntary
it just so happens that my mind- even after trying to train it to do so otherwise- just keep reeling back to you.

What are you doing? are u telling her the same things you told me. do you think of her the same way, you thought about me.
do you'll talk about me
or am i not even a piece of your sub-conscience mind?

but the worst is- did you love me when u say u did?
and what, what in the God name happened for you to leave me?

i tried telling myself. i believed it for sometime.            but then i had to remind myself, that i was alone. 

  

                                       that i miss the good times. the kisses. the hugs. the silence.
                                                    just being next to someone who loved me.

i miss those. i miss the togetherness.

this is what i am left with now. empty hugs. furry hugs.

i remember thinking,

and that those three words,

will always be by my side.

but guess what?

i was wrong.

fool, i know.

but i did. i do.

and sometimes i just want to scream out

please.

and,

and what i really would like,

but then, reality sucks.

he is there. with her, the bitch.

and i am here, alone.

But,

Goddamit. we did.

how soon did u forget?

i wish you'd listen, this one time.

But if someone asked me to tick the box

i wouldnt know which to mark.

I think i need some happy pills

i wish there was somebody-

someone to love,

someone to kiss me,

someone to remind me that life is good.

someone to like me for who i am

and to show me the world is a shiny place

 and to remind me that this:

is true.

someone to,

and that,

this is true; also.

He is dead. i know.

im holding on to a skeleton of what was before.

no flesh.

no heart.

no love.

zilch.

nothing.

im waiting. for someone

to show me what i know he can't.

love

security

happiness.

when will that come?

Soon?

i hope.

someone to hold on to

till infinity.

no, not beyond.

he said that- and beyond lasted for just two years.

   

Moving on....

and then...

A wish...

Whatever you do stay happy,

that is my wish for you.

you might not believe me

hell, i might not believe me,

but

at the end of the day

keeping all remorse aside

all i want for you

is happiness.

all i want from you is respect.

screw her. love her. marry her

but please respect her more than you did me

respect me for keeping it in

respect yourself for what you think and do.

respect.

that is what life is about. 

Good things in life always comes in small packages

smaller dozes

and fleeting dreams.

always.

Flight.

I wanted to fly

Correction:

I want to fly

but,

my wings were broken even before i could try

is it just me

or is this how the world role?

are we meant to be;

this complex

this bizzare

this confusing

and

this,

broken.

how i wish 

the little complications

are just a matter 

of passing madness.

and that life is

all about taking flight;

with no grounds to fall on.

just

air.

wind.

and freedom.