You.me and that nobody

I sit here, my fingers tapping away, reading and looking at old photographs- the way you smile, the way you hold me, the way i look at you.

it's all gone now, hasn't it? you love me no more. you want me no more. You say you do, probably to cover your guilt but in the heart of hearts you know it isnt true. that i have become nobody to you. from someone to noone- when did this happen? how come i didn't know? or was it that i was just too dumb- to foolish to overlook the ripples in the water- that i was running behind something i wanted, needed to keep so i brushed off all other signals.

you talk to her like its the most normal thing. you smile at her, walk- no, run towards her when you see her. while i stand behind you- a nobody in a crowd, a waving piece of dust hanging in the air. she looks at me with scorn, her friends watch while i walk away, to hide in a crowd of unknown people. they look- smile with scorn and all the while you- yes, you speak to her.

noone has made me feel so small, so insignificant the way you and her did. you put me there. and you say there is nothing wrong. of course you dont- you have your eyes locked on to the curve of her hip and you are oblivious to that person you just minutes ago said you wanted to marry to someone else.

you made me believe you. you made me love you, time and again you made me trust you despite warning bells go on in every direction. you made me make you a part of my life.

while all the while,  i was nobody in your life.
that dust that sits on your table until your mother brushes it away.